i love the library...

... and it's a good thing because I'm going to be there all weekend!!! The good news is that I love what we are studying right now (cardiology). The heart is amazing. Hope your takin' care of yours :-)

Hope you all have a great weekend!

"Nobody has ever measured, not even poets,
how much the heart can hold."
- Zelda Fitzgerald

ps. Here is a pic from a b-day dinner for Dipesh and Brodie... and a stop at 'Dave and Andy's' for ice cream after. yum! Med school is even better when you have people like this to share it with.

Conscience protection in health care...

Your input is important!

I've been receiving a lot of information this week about the US Department of Health and Human Services proposed regulations that will protect the conscience rights of health care providers, including:

Entities to whom (this regulation) applies shall not subject any institutional or individual health care entity to discrimination for refusing:
(A) to undergo training in the performance of abortions, or to require, provide, refer for, or make arrangements for training in the performance of abortions;
(B) to perform, refer for, or make other arrangements for, abortions; or
(C) to refer for abortions

The regulations are currently posted on the Federal Register for public comment, and you can read the proposed regulation here. Many people opposing these regulations have left comments, and I've received e-mails this week urging comments from those who would support the conscience protecting regulations.

I am posting this to ask you to consider sending a note of support for these regulations to help preserve conscience protections for health care providers. As a friend of mine who is a physician said in her e-mail, "This proposal is about protecting providers' rights to act in a way that does not violate their moral beliefs. This issue is not going away and, for those pursuing obstetrics, I fear, is only going to get worse. "

To make your comment with the Federal Register e-mail: consciencecomment@hhs.gov and put "Provider Conscience" in the Subject Line. The Catholic Medical Association offers a sample comment that I've included at the end of this post for anyone who'd like to see it.

The deadline for public comments is September 25, 2008.

Also, I found DHH's Secretary Mike Leavitt's blog on this issue very interesting too and felt compelled to leave the following comment:

Dear Secretary Leavitt,

I am a medical student, and I thank you for working to protect my right to not violate my conscience.

To the poster who quoted the Hippocratic Oath saying, "Moreover does not the Hippocractic Oath dictate that all possible care should be given to the patient? Any health care worker opting out of treatment based on their personal beliefs is violating that oath."

Actually, the original Hippocratic Oath says, "I will neither give a deadly drug to anybody who asked for it, nor will I make a suggestion to this effect. Similarly I will not give to a woman an abortive remedy. In purity and holiness I will guard my life and my art."

Here is sample wording for a note:

Dear Secretary Leavitt:

I wish to comment in support of Provider Conscience Regulation. The proposed federal regulations are a necessary step toward ensuring that doctors, nurses and other medical personnel are not forced to violate their most deeply held moral and ethical convictions. The protection of innocent human life is fundamental to a just society, and individuals who uphold the dignity of human life should be protected from unjust coercion and undue consequences.

Thank you,
[Your Full Name and Address]

let the man speak for himself

Before you read this blog: Please know that I am not telling anyone how to vote. I believe and uphold that we all have the right to vote our conscience. The USCCB (US Conference of Catholic Bishops) has put forth a document called Forming Consciences for Faithful Citizenship available online for anyone interested in reading it.

The Church is involved in the political process but is not partisan. The Church cannot champion any candidate or party. Our cause is the defense of human life and dignity and the protection of the weak and vulnerable. - From the USCCB "Forming Consciences for Faithful Citizenship"

Now to the video. Obama makes himself clear in this speech that the first thing he'll do as president is sign the Freedom of Choice Act. He actually says, "The first thing I'll do as President is sign the Freedom of Choice Act." I did some reading, and this is what I found out:

What Does FOCA Say?

FOCA provides that “[i]t is the policy of the United States that every woman has the fundamental right to choose to bear a child, to terminate a pregnancy prior to fetal viability, or to terminate a pregnancy after fetal viability when necessary to protect the life or health of the woman.” Further, FOCA would specifically invalidate any "statute, ordinance, regulation, administrative order, decision, policy, practice, or other action" of any federal, state, or local government or governmental official (or any person acting under government authority) that would "deny or interfere with a woman's right to choose" abortion, or that would "discriminate against the exercise of the right . . . in the regulation or provision of benefits, facilities, services, or information." This single piece of legislation would apply to any federal or state law “enacted, adopted, or implemented before, on, or after the date of [its] enactment.”

What is the Legal Impact of FOCA?

FOCA establishes the right to abortion as a “fundamental right,” elevating it to the same status as the right to vote and the right to free speech. Critically, the U.S. Supreme Court has never (in Roe v. Wade or in any subsequent decision) defined abortion as a fundamental constitutional right. Thus, FOCA goes beyond any U.S. Supreme Court decision in enshrining unlimited abortion-on-demand into American law.

What is the Practical Impact of FOCA?

Among the federal and state laws that FOCA would nullify are:

• Waiting periods

• Parental consent and notification laws

• Requirements that licensed physicians perform abortions

• Bans on partial-birth abortion

• Bans on abortion after viability. Under FOCA, post-viability abortions are expressly permitted to protect the woman’s health. Within the context of abortion, “health” has been interpreted so broadly that FOCA would not actually proscribe any abortion before or after viability.

• Limits on public funding for elective abortions (thus, making American taxpayers fund a procedure that many find morally objectionable)

• Limits on the use of public facilities (such has public hospitals and medical schools at state universities) for abortions

• Legal protections for individual healthcare providers who decline to participate in abortions.
  

• Legal protections for religiously-affiliated hospitals who, while providing care to millions of poor and uninsured Americans, refuse to allow abortions within their facilities

I also found some disturbing information regarding physician freedom of conscience:

Notably, the most recent and pressing threat to freedom of conscience has come from within the healthcare profession itself. In November 2007, the Committee on Ethics of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) issued a policy statement entitled "The Limits of Conscientious Refusal in Reproductive Medicine." The controversial document provided that:

a. Pro-life physicians must refer for abortion: "Physicians…have the duty to refer patients in a timely manner to other providers if they do not feel they can in conscience provide the standard reproductive service that patients request."
b. Pro-life physicians should relocate to refer patients to nearby abortionists: "Providers with moral or religious objections should … practice in proximity to individuals who do not share their views…"
c. Patient autonomy trumps physician’s conscience: A physician may not exercise his or her right of conscience if that might "constitute an imposition of religious or moral beliefs on patients."
d. Conscience amounts only to a subjective feeling and not to a well-grounded moral or religious belief system or a well-established constitutional principle: "An appeal to conscience would express a sentiment such as 'If I were to do 'x,' I could not live with myself, I would hate myself, I wouldn't be able to sleep at night."

By the end of the year, the American Board of Obstetrics and Gynecology (ABOG), which certifies obstetricians and gynecologists, joined the assault against physicians’ freedom of conscience. In issuing its 2008 Maintenance of Certification Bulletin, ABOG decreed that physicians may now lose their certification for "violat[ing] ABOG or ACOG rules and/or ethics principles…." Thus, refusing to comply with ACOG’s policy regarding referrals for abortion would endanger a physician’s ability to maintain his or her certification which, in turn, would put the physician’s hospital or staff privileges and ability to practice and earn a living at risk.

Thankfully, this imminent and invidious threat to freedom of conscience was immediately denounced and challenged by physicians, members of the Bush Administration (including Secretary of Health and Human Services Michael Leavitt), the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, pro-family policy groups, and legal organizations like Americans United for Life (AUL). These groups and individuals are seeking to have ACOG’s policy statement rescinded and to have ABOG expressly affirm that physicians’ certifications will not be dependant on their willingness to violate their consciences by referring patients for abortions or other controversial, elective procedures.

I also googled Margaret Sanger (who Obama mentions at the end of his speech) and found that she was a proponent of eugenics who considered the unchecked multiplication of the "unfit" to be "the greatest present menace to civilization." (Margaret Sanger. "The Eugenic Value of Birth Control Propaganda", Birth Control Review, October 1921, page 5).

Yikes.

I think I am going to call it a night, and end with a quote from Obama from about 2o minutes into his speech that I agree with.

"I'm here because of a mother..."

Amen.

Gianna Jessen and Jill Stanek

"Just as abuse victims share their stories to educate the public, fight for the common good and hope that as a result politicians do what’s right, I felt it was important to come forward and give these new born babies a voice. I am living proof these babies have a right to live..." -- -Gianna Jessen bornalivetruth.org

Thanks to Amy for sharing the story of Gianna Jessen, a Christian recording artist who thirty one years ago survived an attempted saline abortion. Gianna has a website where you can hear her sing as well as order a copy of her book. She recently appeared on Hannity and Colmes where she shared her story and questioned Sen. Obama's voting record for the IL Born Alive Infant Protection Acton Act. (I'm including the clip below in case you would like to see it.)

In a related story, Amy also let me know about the website of Jill Stanek, who was a registered nurse in the Labor & Delivery Department at Christ Hospital in Oak Lawn, Illinois, in 1999 when she discovered babies were being aborted alive and shelved to die in the soiled utility room.

She was asked to testify before a U.S. House committee in 2000 and 2001 for the Born Alive Infants Protection Act, which states that any baby that has been born alive is to be legally considered a person. As such, she or he would automatically be granted full protection under the U.S. Constitution. It is by no means light reading, but you can read both her personal and Congressional testimony online.

I testified about a staff worker who accidentally threw a live aborted baby in the garbage. The baby had been left on the counter of the Soiled Utility Room wrapped in a disposable towel. When my coworker realized what she had done, she started going through the trash to find the baby... -Jill Stanek, on her testimony in support of the Born Alive Infants Protection Act

Stanek was fired in August 2001 by Christ Hospital for reasons related to her public outspokenness to its abortion practices. The bill thankfully passed in 2002.

viva la vida

If you have some time today, go over to my friends Ryan and Sarah O'Connor's blog BeYellow.org and check out their summer video. Ryan and Sarah are two of the most genuine and amazing people that I know. One of the biggest blessings of my entire life was being able to spend about 5 days with them this summer soaking in God's grace in Rome. It was a true pilgrimage, and God couldn't have designed it any better. Their video is a great glimpse into their joy, their faith, their sense of adventure and their love for life. (And it also offers proof that we'll hopefully be going back to Rome someday, as you can see Sarah and I throwing our coins into the Trevi fountain!)

Ryan and Sarah, I love you guys. Thank you so much for being the kind of friends who inspire me to be the best person that I can be. Keep on "being yellow" and know that I am praying for you.

If thou continue faithful and fervent in working, God will doubtless be faithful and liberal in rewarding. -St. Therese

did i mention i love south bend?

Last weekend I was able to go back to South Bend with my family for the ND football game. My good friend (and classmate) Abby made the roadtrip with me to attend her first board meeting with Touching Tiny Lives Foundation. Here are some of my favorite photos from the weekend!

We miss you Christy!

Thanks for coming to the game Abby!! Hope you had a great time :-)

Beth and Alli, you are the best!! (You also happen to have the most comfortable couch in South Bend... a.k.a. my second bed :-)- I love you guys!!

Getting to see Aubry Skorich was a highlight of the weekend!

Renee!!

A visit with Isabelle and Micheal would make anyone's day!

I hope you all have a great day & a great weekend!!

PS. The premise of the "How to Talk to Your Doctor about God" on CNN.com today intrigued me. Also, Steven Curtis Chapman was on the Early Show today singing "Cinderella" and sharing his story about his daughter Maria. The link is here in case you'd like to watch the video.

true beauty

Today my dear friend Keri enters into discernment with the Religious Sisters of Mercy in Alma, Michigan. She sent out an e-mail last night that I wanted to share the majority of here in hopes that it might bless your day as it did for me.

God bless you Keri. See you in the Eucharist...

love,
nicole


My beloved friends in Notre Dame,

Tomorrow afternoon, I enter discernment with the Religious Sisters of Mercy in Alma, MI. Some of you may be hearing this news for the very first time. Others have personally walked with me amidst the details of this journey toward Christ’s loving call. Regardless, you all have touched my life in a way that formed and molded me to take this step toward a closer, more intimate union with Jesus. On the eve of this ”yes”, I have an overwhelming sense of gratitude for all the inspiring and life-giving relationships in my life. How I wish I would have been blessed to have time with each of you, in-person or over the phone, to express my great gratitude for your presence and your witness to me. Please know of my profound thankfulness for the imprint each of you has left on my heart.


A note on my community: The Religious Sisters of Mercy (www.rsmofalma.org) are a vibrant group of Catholic nuns, most of whom are physicians, lawyers, and academics. This growing, dynamic order is a striking embodiment of John Paul II's reflections on "the feminine genius". I am drawn to their distinct charism, as it resonates with my desires to serve the impoverishments in modern America and the greater universal Church. Moreover, I am fortunate that my professional degrees from Yale Medical School and Harvard's Kennedy School might provide assistance in the order’s apostolic ministries.

In order to fully and freely enter this period of discernment, I lovingly release my relationships to God’s will. I trust that His abounding love will continue to transcend time and distance. Our spiritual communion unites us more closely than we could ever imagine.

Website: http://www.rsmofalma.org/

I look forward to the various ways our lives might interweave in future years, especially in the spiritual realm, according to God’s perfect plan.

May you be showered with abundant blessings, love, peace, and joy!

Keri Oxley


Keri then ended her letter with this quote:
---------------------------------

If we let Christ into our lives, we lose nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing of what makes life free, beautiful and great. No! Only in this friendship are the doors of life opened wide. Only in this friendship is the great potential of human existence truly revealed. Only in this friendship do we experience beauty and liberation. And so, today, with great strength and great conviction, on the basis of long personal experience of life, I say to you, dear young people: Do not be afraid of Christ! He takes nothing away, and he gives you everything. When we give ourselves to him, we receive a hundredfold in return. Yes, open, open wide the doors to Christ – and you will find true life. - POPE BENEDICT XVI

---------------------------------

"... I shall be Love."

I just received a comment from a young woman named Bridget that I wanted to share. Bridget left her comment under the video of Danielle Rose, now Sister Rose Therese, singing "See You in the Eucharist", and I wanted to share it along with the video for any of you who haven't seen it yet.

I am so thankful you posted this...only Danielle could bring a somewhat disillusioned 17 year old Catholic girl to tears every time she speaks or sings...sometimes I wish I could have gotten the chance to have known her personally, but then I remember her vocation, and the beautiful message she shares with us, and I am so happy that I can meet Danielle in the Eucharist! :)

If you like this video, you can see others of her songs here.

"Yes, I have found my place in the Church and it is you, O my God, who have given me this place; in the heart of the Church, my Mother, I shall be Love. Thus I shall be everything, and thus my dream will be realized." - St. Therese of Lisieux -

God is love.

There's a lot of talk on the comment section of my blog these days about the upcoming Presidential election and two questions were recently raised in regards to abortion: "What do you think the quality of life would be like for a child born to a mother who didn't want it?" 2. Would it be more rewarding for said child to be in heaven rather than live a life on earth that would (most likely) in more cases than not, be miserable?"

This question was not addressed to me, but I would like to share my thoughts.

Human life is a sacred gift. How could any of us, in our limited human understanding, determine whose life is worth living, and who would be better off dead?

I actually want to share a story of Monica, one of the mothers at Maggie's Place, which is a home from pregnant women in Phoenix, Arizona, who as a teenager was told by her mother that she had been "unwanted."

November 16th, 2000. That is the day I began my life. Just a short time before I was a single, carefree daredevil. I lived life on the edge and to the fullest without a care in the world. You see, I never knew what LOVE really was. I had a GOOD childhood; I had all the necessities: food, shelter, and running water. But I lacked one thing in my life that I needed more than anything: LOVE. I believe my mother loved me in her own way; however, my father died when I was only 2 years old. My mom had tons of boyfriends, and I looked at them as father figures until they left to go to the store and never returned. Soon, I came to the realization that it was just going to be me and my mom and that was fine by me. That is until I turned 16 and my mother told me she never wanted any more children (I am the youngest of 6); she only had me because my dad wanted a child. I was stunned. I thought "So, for 14 years I have been an unwanted burden to my mother". I began to live my life as such: unwanted. I decided if my own mother didn't really care about me why should I. I began stealing, getting into fights and failing all my classes in high school. This behavior followed me all through life. At 24, I found myself homeless and pregnant. I found a newspaper clipping about Maggie's Place and I called and talked to Teresa. They were not even open yet; however, I received my phone interviews and was asked to come live at Maggie's Place. They had no idea what they were in for, and as God would have it, neither did I. Mary Peterson was my contact person and the more I tried to push her away the more she was there for me. There was also another mom there that I bonded with and opened up to, Maria. We became very good friends during the course of my stay. I was there for about a month and was diagnosed with Toxemia (high blood pressure brought on by pregnancy). I gave birth to my first daughter, Mahkenzie, at 26 weeks pregnant. At this time the staff brought in a counselor and we would all sit and talk about different topics. Week after week I would just sit there with my stern face and not participate. One night I came home after dealing with work and all the ups and downs of Mahkenzie's health at the hospital, and the counseling session was beginning. I was asked to sit in even if I did not want to participate. I sat and began to cry uncontrollably. I could not even speak. Everyone except Maria was surprised to see me cry. I remember Maria saying "she cries in front of me all the time. She really isn't as mean as she puts on you just have to get past her shell". That night all the moms showed me the love I had been missing for 22 years of my life. I realized that I was loved, and by people who did not even know me and all the bad things I had done. Despite my faults, everyone at Maggies Place loved me, and that was enough for me to change my life. Unfortunately, Mahkenzie became very ill and she went back home to be with God. I still miss her terribly everyday but God has sent me another one of his angels, my daughter J'nai. She will be turning 2 this month. She is a very smart, loving and happy little girl. I am truly blessed. I have learned to love and accept love from others. Through all my trials I have always had a foundation of God in my life. I know by believing in him and honoring him, I was able to finally become the woman he inspired me to be when he was creating me in heaven. Please keep J'nai and myself in your prayers. God Bless. - Monica, a Maggie's Place Mom

Also, on a website called "Silent No More" you can read testimonies from many women, men and couples who have been directly affected by abortion and have lived to share their stories. Under the section titled "celebrities" I just read the testimony of Dr. Alveda King (niece of MLK), and it was powerful.

Also, from Rachel's Vineyard" you can read testimonies of many women (and men) title "How abortion affected me."

The abortion has caused me to be depressed for the past 12 years (since the abortion). It has interfered with my bonding relationship with my children, especially the oldest. However, it has continued to interfere with the rest of my relationships, including my ability to love (freely) my husband. And, of course, it has decreased my self-esteem which was low to begin with. I have an overwhelming sense of guilt because of my decision to follow through with the abortion. -- Donna

My abortion has caused a severe lack of self-esteem and self-worth. Yet, it has caused me to be a strong supporter of pro-life issues. I've suffered alone and the result has been self-imposed isolation from society to the point of being terrified to attend public functions. My need to nurture my surviving children has resulted in a "smothering" effect. I have been unable to look people in the eye for fear they may see my secret. -- Monica

My wife and I had an abortion before we were married. We tried to put it behind us, out of our minds. But everything changed. My wife grew distant from me physically and emotionally. It felt like we were going through the motions. There was this unspoken chasm between us that we just couldn't cross. I felt angry, alone and when she would bring it up, I felt so ashamed and threatened by her and my own pain that I just shut her down. This only made things worse. -- John

My abortion has left me empty, alone and in despair. It has taken me to a place I almost couldn't come back from. The self-hatred I see every time I look in the mirror has been my constant companion for the last ten years. -- Lori

The lies have affected me the most: the Big Lie that it all is and all the tangled webs of lies that make it up, compromise it and cover it up. The truth is that I have been affected; one of the lies is that you just move on unaffected. My heart turned cold. I just strived to survive in an empty existence - not a true life. I pretended I wasn't hurt but I was terribly so. -- Anne

I now realize that the abortion made me lose a part of myself that I never knew was there -- a trusting and loving person towards others and myself. It built up a wall towards those who were involved. I have seen a side of them that was more selfish than anything. My experience took a part of myself that I lost for years. -- Susan

If you are suffering from an abortion, please know that you are not alone, and that there are people who are waiting and wanting to help you in the process of healing. There are support and recovery groups and post abortion retreats just to name a few resources. You are not alone.

I had the great privilege of being a volunteer staff member at Maggie's Place a few summers ago, and it was this summer that I realized that being pro-life is just as much about what we are for (the long work of supporting life) than what we are against (abortion). Maggie's Place taught me the living truth of what I had once read in a book, "The Brothers Karamazov" by Fyodor Dostoevsky. "Love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared with love in dreams. Love in dreams is greedy for immediate action, rapidly performed and in the sight of all. Men will even give their lives if only the ordeal does not last long but is soon over, with all looking on and applauding as though on the stage. But active love is labor and fortitude..."
It is the experience of this love in action that transformed Monica's life, and it is this same love in action, this long work, that I believe can turn the tide of the culture of death.

I wanted to share this passage here because I believe it is so relevant. If you don't have time to read the whole passage, don't miss the last paragraph...

"... Happiness, happiness- where is it? Who can say of himself that he is happy? Oh, since you have been so good as to let us see you once more to-day, let me tell you what I could not utter last time, what I dared not say, all I am suffering and have been for so long! I am suffering! Forgive me! I am suffering!"

And in a rush of fervent feeling she clasped her hands before him.

"From what specially?"

"I suffer... from lack of faith."

"Lack of faith in God?"

"Oh, no, no! I dare not even think of that. But the future life- it is such an enigma And no one, no one can solve it. Listen! You are a healer, you are deeply versed in the human soul, and of course I dare not expect you to believe me entirely, but I assure you on my word of honor that I am not speaking lightly now. The thought of the life beyond the grave distracts me to anguish, to terror. And I don't know to whom to appeal, and have not dared to all my life. And now I am so bold as to ask you. Oh, God! What will you think of me now?"

She clasped her hands.

"Don't distress yourself about my opinion of you," said the elder. "I quite believe in the sincerity of your suffering."

"Oh, how thankful I am to you! You see, I shut my eyes and ask myself if everyone has faith, where did it come from? And then they do say that it all comes from terror at the menacing phenomena of nature, and that none of it's real. And I say to myself, 'What if I've been believing all my life, and when I come to die there's nothing but the burdocks growing on my grave?' as I read in some author. It's awful! How -- how can I get back my faith? But I only believed when I was a little child, mechanically, without thinking of anything. How, how is one to prove it? I have come now to lay my soul before you and to ask you about it. If I let this chance slip, no one all my life will answer me. How can I prove it? How can I convince myself? Oh, how unhappy I am! I stand and look about me and see that scarcely anyone else cares; no one troubles his head about it, and I'm the only one who can't stand it. It's deadly -- deadly!"

"No doubt. But there's no proving it, though you can be convinced of it. By the experience of active love. Strive to love your neighbour actively and indefatigably. In as far as you advance in love you will grow surer of the reality of God and of the immortality of your soul. If you attain to perfect self-forgetfulness in the love of your neighbour, then you will believe without doubt, and no doubt can possibly enter your soul. This has been tried. This is certain."

"In active love? There's another question and such a question! You see, I so love humanity that -- would you believe it? -- I often dream of forsaking all that I have, leaving Lise, and becoming a sister of mercy. I close my eyes and think and dream, and at that moment I feel full of strength to overcome all obstacles. No wounds, no festering sores could at that moment frighten me. I would bind them up and wash them with my own hands. I would nurse the afflicted. I would be ready to kiss such wounds."

"It is much, and well that your mind is full of such dreams and not others. Some time, unawares, you may do a good deed in reality."

"Yes. But could I endure such a life for long?" the lady went on fervently, almost frantically. "That's the chief question -- that's my most agonising question. I shut my eyes and ask myself, 'Would you persevere long on that path? And if the patient whose wounds you are washing did not meet you with gratitude, but worried you with his whims, without valuing or remarking your charitable services, began abusing you and rudely commanding you, and complaining to the superior authorities of you (which often happens when people are in great suffering) -- what then? Would you persevere in your love, or not?' And do you know, I came with horror to the conclusion that, if anything could dissipate my love to humanity, it would be ingratitude. In short, I am a hired servant, I expect my payment at once -- that is, praise, and the repayment of love with love. Otherwise I am incapable of loving anyone.'"

She was in a very paroxysm of self-castigation, and, concluding, she looked with defiant resolution at the elder.

"It's just the same story as a doctor once told me," observed the elder. "He was a man getting on in years, and undoubtedly clever. He spoke as frankly as you, though in jest, in bitter jest. 'I love humanity,' he said, 'but I wonder at myself. The more I love humanity in general, the less I love man in particular. In my dreams,' he said, 'I have often come to making enthusiastic schemes for the service of humanity, and perhaps I might actually have faced crucifixion if it had been suddenly necessary; and yet I am incapable of living in the same room with anyone for two days together, as I know by experience. As soon as anyone is near me, his personality disturbs my self-complacency and restricts my freedom. In twenty-four hours I begin to hate the best of men: one because he's too long over his dinner; another because he has a cold and keeps on blowing his nose. I become hostile to people the moment they come close to me. But it has always happened that the more I detest men individually the more ardent becomes my love for humanity.'

"But what's to be done? What can one do in such a case? Must one despair?"

"No. It is enough that you are distressed at it. Do what you can, and it will be reckoned unto you. Much is done already in you since you can so deeply and sincerely know yourself. If you have been talking to me so sincerely, simply to gain approbation for your frankness, as you did from me just now, then, of course, you will not attain to anything in the achievement of real love; it will all get no further than dreams, and your whole life will slip away like a phantom. In that case you will naturally cease to think of the future life too, and will of yourself grow calmer after a fashion in the end."

"You have crushed me! Only now, as you speak, I understand that I was really only seeking your approbation for my sincerity when I told you I could not endure ingratitude. You have revealed me to myself. You have seen through me and explained me to myself."

"Are you speaking the truth? Well, now, after such a confession, I believe that you are sincere and good at heart. If you do not attain happiness, always remember that you are on the right road, and try not to leave it. Above all, avoid falsehood, every kind of falsehood, especially falseness to yourself. Watch over your own deceitfulness and look into it every hour, every minute. Avoid being scornful, both to others and to yourself. What seems to you bad within you will grow purer from the very fact of your observing it in yourself. Avoid fear, too, though fear is only the consequence of every sort of falsehood. Never be frightened at your own faint-heartedness in attaining love. Don't be frightened overmuch even at your evil actions. I am sorry I can say nothing more consoling to you, for love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared with love in dreams. Love in dreams is greedy for immediate action, rapidly performed and in the sight of all. Men will even give their lives if only the ordeal does not last long but is soon over, with all looking on and applauding as though on the stage. But active love is labor and fortitude, and for some people too, perhaps, a complete science. But I predict that just when you see with horror that in spite of all your efforts you are getting farther from your goal instead of nearer to it -- at that very moment I predict that you will reach it and behold clearly the miraculous power of the Lord who has been all the time loving and mysteriously guiding you. Forgive me for not being able to stay longer with you. They are waiting for me. Good-bye."

The lady was weeping.

this is inspiring

I am a faithful reader of a few different blogs, and this is one that I will definitely be adding to my list. It is written by a 19 year old woman named Katie, and tells of her journey to Uganda to care for and love orphaned children. http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com

You might want to start by reading her entry on January 18, 2008. This isn't the beginning point of her journey, but definitely a defining moment of it. It's hard to even imagine that she's only 19. I guess it just goes to show that it doesn't matter how old we are (or aren't). With an open heart and a "yes" to God, anything is possible.

"Let no one have contempt for your youth, but set
an example for those who believe,
in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity."
-Saint Paul's first letter to Timothy (4:12)