Saturday, September 29, 2007

ps.-- faith, doubt and the humility of mother teresa

During a study break last night my friend Ani and I started talking about Danielle's new cd, and of the spiritual darkness that Mother Teresa experienced. This morning I found a few very good reflections that I wanted to share in case others are interested in reading more too.

For those who have given it all, have allowed themselves to be used up until they literally have nothing left to give, it seems to me that such dark nights would be unavoidable. I think our human capacity to love can only take us so far, and when we have reached the point where our love for God exceeds our ability to actually feel and comprehend and identify “love” - that’s when these saints see desperate days. My guess is they have simply transcended where human love can take them, but haven’t the tools to fully know “divine” love, and so they’re trapped in something unidentifiable and unknown - a place where they simply have to go on faith. If we learn in 10 years that John Paul II went through exactly the same sort of emptiness and darkness, I will not be surprised at all. In fact, I expect to hear exactly that.

And as for Teresa’s “shocking” letters, I anticipate finding within them a great deal of comfort. And in her carrying on and carrying forth - even through her trials and excruciating sense of loss - I expect I’ll find evidence of the workings of grace and sanctity. As Fr. James Martin writes in the New York Times, “…to conclude that Mother Teresa was a crypto-atheist is to misread both the woman and the experience that she was forced to undergo.”

Indeed. “My God, My God, why have you abandoned me” is not the cry of the atheist; it is the cry of the psalmist and the Christ. It is the cry of the believer.


(You can read the rest here.)


Also, Deacon Greg Kandra's homily on Mother Teresa is beautiful.

... It’s astonishing to think that the most important work of Mother Teresa – her true legacy – may not have been to the poor in the slums, but to the poor in spirit. Those who every day walk through the slums of their own hearts, feeling deserted and unloved.

This book, I think, will speak to so many of us who are questioning, and searching. It will show just what it takes to be a saint.

It takes more than piety. It takes perseverance: continuing through all the barren deserts of life, and doing God’s will anyway – trusting, somewhere, somehow, that an oasis awaits you at the end.

The painful fact is that all of us at one time or another know that desert. We all have felt spiritually dry, isolated from God. We know the sense of desolation. Mother Teresa’s story speaks powerfully to all of us.

And so, I think, does God’s call to her. Because it is His call to each of us.

“Come, be my light.”

Light was the first thing that God brought forth at the beginning of time.

It was what He needed to continue His creation.

Mother Teresa fulfilled that need.

And we can, too.

“Come, be my light.”

Come, He says. Help me finish what I have begun. Be my hands. Be my voice. Be my light. Give love to the unloved, and hope to the hopeless.

And: don’t be afraid of the darkness.

Because darkness and doubt, even the kind Mother Teresa experienced, make faith matter. A faith that doesn’t question, or feel some uncertainty, is a shallow faith, a kind that will not deepen and grow. Faith should ask hard questions – who is God? What does He want of us? – because in asking those questions it means that we don’t have all the answers.

And that, too, is a mark of humility.

That little Albanian nun with the weathered face and the simple blue and white sari is a powerful example of that.

But there is an even greater example of humility among us right now. It is the Eucharist we are about to receive -- when God becomes bread, and bread becomes God. When the exalted is humbled and the humble exalted.

And we who are about to share that mystery, in receiving it, are also exalted -- and humbled. Lord, I am not worthy that you should come under my roof. But he does. And we are transformed.

(The full homily is
here.)

"I thirst"


I have some great news to share... Danielle Rose's new CD "I Thirst" is now available!!!!!
(The press release is available here.)

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

"so small"

I love this song!!

"Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've out there searching for forever
Is in your hands
And then you figure out love is all that
Matters after all

It sure makes everything else seem
So small."

Sunday, September 23, 2007

saint therese... the "little way"


"Love proves itself by deeds, so how am I to show my love? Great deeds are forbidden me. The only way I can prove my love is by scattering flowers and these flowers are every little sacrifice, every glance and word, and the doing of the least actions for love."
-- St. Therese of Lisieux


My favorite day of the year is quickly approaching... October 1st, the feast day of Saint Therese. For the past three years it's become a tradition to join in a novena leading up to October 1st & ending with a trip to the National Shrine of St. Therese in Chicago. I won't be able to make it to Chicago this year, but my good friend Amy will be going & I'll be joining in spirit from Pittsburgh!

She was only 24 when she died of tuberculosis, basically unknown outside of the convent she had entered at age 15. At her spiritual director's request she left behind an autobiography published after her death as "The Story of a Soul." It wasn't long before she was known and loved all over the entire world. A short little biography about here is here along with stories of how she has touched people's lives in case you'd like to check it out.

And for anyone who would like to join in prayer, the novena begins today (Sunday) and ends on October 1st. If you'd like to join along, this website will e-mail you the prayer each of the nine days, which makes it really easy to follow.

God bless you all!!

love,
nicole


Thursday, September 20, 2007

a great view of pittsburgh

My classmate Aaron and his wife invited me to join them on a driving tour of Pittsburgh with the prospective student they were hosting the other night. They took us to the top of Mt. Washington to see the view of Pittsburgh from there. It was amazing! If any of you come to visit, we'll definitely have to check it out again!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

great news!

Welcome to the world little James! You are one lucky little guy & have the best parents (& grandparents!) and cutest older sister in the world. I was so happy to get to meet you yesterday, and can't wait to see you again soon!!!

PS. Let's hope you'll see your first ND win before your first birthday :-)

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

"Come be My light"

I couldn't go to sleep tonight before writing to say that today (September 5th) is the 10 year anniversary of Mother Teresa's death. Time magazine just published a cover article about her life and spiritual darkness, which has been revealed publicly only after her death. It was astonishing to read, and I'd love to hear what you think about it if you read it too.
"If I ever become a saint, I will surely be one of 'darkness.' I will continually be absent from heaven to (light) the light of those in darkness on earth." - Mother Teresa, 1962

The actual call that Mother Teresa heard to come to Calcutta to serve the poor was, "Come be My light." However in the 50 years that followed what she faced in return was her own spiritual darkness. That she knew such intense spiritual darkness is a mystery to me, yet I feel it makes her witness even more powerful. As the writer of the book about her darkness says,

"The tendency in our spiritual life but also in our more general attitude toward love is that our feelings are all that is going on, and so to us the totality of love is what we feel. But to really love someone requires commitment, fidelity and vulnerability. Mother Teresa wasn't 'feeling' Christ's love, and she could have shut down. But she was up at 4:30 every morning for Jesus, and still writing to him, 'Your happiness is all I want.' That's a powerful example even if you are not talking in exclusively religious terms."

Commitment, fidelity and vulnerability... I pray that we all can model our understanding of love after her. Mother Teresa, pray for us!

Sunday, September 02, 2007

just what the doctor ordered

"dome sweet dome"

I was in anatomy lab on Friday when Dr. Schuman asked my group what our plans were for the weekend. I told him I wanted to go back to Indiana to visit my friends, but I wasn't sure if I should go because there was so much studying to do. He said that I had Monday off and could study then, and that I should go. Twist my arm!! I was on the road after class, and back to South Bend by 10:00 that night.

It was a truly wonderful weekend!! I have always loved ND, and absence makes the heart grow fonder too :-) It was wonderful to see my friends and I am so glad that I made the trip. The game was less than stellar, but I have a few theories about this season. The learning curve is going to be steep, but in the best case scenario we have the chance to watch the team drastically improve from now till the end of the season. I know that might not be what some want to hear, but they're a young team and it's going to take some time. I think this is the kind of situation where coaching can make a huge difference & (hopefully!) I think it's going to be fun to see how it unfolds.

I was really excited to see Jimmy Clausen get in the game and if it were up to me he'd be the starter from here on in. No use developing someone else only to have JC have to be a rookie sophomore next year. As for the fear that he'll get crushed against the Penn State defense, I say that you can't play not to lose. You have to play to win, and if that means he takes a few hits, maybe that will give the 0-line a little inspiration to step it up a notch. Anyway, I'm just rambling, and we'll see what happens!! I'll leave the true analyzing of the season to my good friend Ryan O'Connor, but those are my two cents for what it's worth. Here are some pictures from the weekend...

amy, me, beth, alli and her friend sarah

i ran into mike from the pittsburgh alumni club... small world!

i also got to see my cousins chuck and beth!

A highlight of the game for me was the video about the Haiti program that was shown right at the end of halftime. The NBC film crew went to Haiti at the end of July to film for this video, and I think they did a really good job with it. There's a longer video about Fr. Tom Streit (the director of the program) here as well. If anyone wants more info about the Haiti program or the LF disease, just let me know.

PS. Check out Beth's new blog!!! (Including photos and a video from game-day!)
PPS. I just posted the lyrics to "Psalm 139" in the post below. (It's neat to read the psalm, and then to see how Danielle wrote the song.)

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

psalm 139

In starting anatomy class, I have been thinking so much about one of Danielle's new songs called "Psalm 139" and the beautiful message

"I praise You, God, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made."



Lord you search me and you know me
When I sit and when I stand
You understand my thoughts from afar
Behind me and before me Your hand is there to guide me
Too wonderful for me this knowledge is beyond my reach
Before a word is on my tongue
You know it all before it has begun

I praise you God that I am fearfully and wonderfully made…

Where can I hide from your presence
Where can I flee from your face
If I fly to the heavens you are there
It I lie in the grave you are there

If I take the wings of the dawn
(A line I can’t hear…)
Even there your hand will guide me
You right hand will hold me fast
For you night is as the day
For you light and darkness are the same

I praise you God that I am fearfully and wonderfully made…

In secret, as in the depths of the earth,
You formed my inmost being
My very self, my bones were not hidden from you
You knit me in my mother’s womb

I praise you God that I am fearfully and wonderfully made…

Sunday, August 19, 2007

big city mountaineers

My younger brother Ryan just got back from a week long camping trip to the Boundary Waters Wilderness Area in Northern Minnesota with an awesome program called Big City Mountaineers. Ryan helped lead a group of young men from the Chicago Youth Program canoeing for a week and couldn't say enough good things about the whole experience. They had an amazing time, and I wanted to share these two pictures. Looks like a great group! You are awesome for always following your heart & combining doing what you love with caring about people so much Ryan!


Thursday, August 16, 2007

on to pittsburgh...

After one last early morning rainfall trip to the Grotto, I was on my way to Pittsburgh!

My mom, dad, brother Jeff and friend Craig definitely win the award for being awesome. Dad, Jeff and Craig unloaded all of my stuff and helped me move everything in, despite the rain. My mom stayed a few days, made multiple trips to Ikea with me, and helped me unpack and decide to hang pictures and fun things like that. My dad helped me put up shelves, figured out how to hang a mirror, made labels for my mailbox and buzzer and other fun things like that. Jeff... what can I say! He made multiple trips over to help put together the furniture we found at Ikea, drive me around to help me learn the city, figured out how to work my remote control and has just been all-around awesome. Thanks also to Katie and Abby for inviting me over last weekend to the pool and for dinner. I had so much fun and I love living so close to you!!!

I miss South Bend and know it will always be a second home, but I am really excited to be here in Pittsburgh. It's been fun this week meeting my new classmates, and I am looking forward to all that is ahead. You are all in my thoughts and prayers!!!!

Here are a few pics from the white coat ceremony!

mom, me and my God-daughter anastasia

aunt patty, mom, dad, ana and me

mom, ana, dad, jeff and me

ana and her buddy "uncle greg" hanging out at station square

last weekend in south bend

My mom and dad came to South Bend to help me move (thank you!!!!!). We had a fun dinner at Macri's deli with Beth, Alli, Jackie, Beth and Brett, and then they were on their way while I stayed behind one more night to attend Kaitlyn and Tommy Curtin's wedding.


The wedding was absolutely beautiful and so much fun!! Anytime you have the chance to dance with any of the 3 Slonkosky brothers (let alone all three), you know it's going to be a great time. I was so, so, so happy to get to spend time with Keri, who is a true sister to me and one of my biggest heroes and inspirations in life. Thank you Keri for everything! I love you!
It was such a gift to see so many wonderful friends at the wedding, and to have the chance to say hello and goodbye before I left. It was especially fun to see Maria Spears, who I haven't seen for years!
It was also great to see Claire who had come all the way from the Honduras to be there for the wedding. You are beautiful Claire!

the blogiversary

For those of you who are new to the blog, it all began last year (mostly as a joke) after a trip to the St. Joe 4H county fair. So we decided to celebrate the 1st blogiversary by going back to the place where the fun all began! Enjoy the photos!!

the happy crew arrives...
and we all begin the search for our favorite fair foods. brett finds his favorite first. he calls 'em "pronto pups" but you probably know them as corn dogs!

beth, alli and beth enjoying their dinner!


this sign for fried vegetables seemed a little misleading...

this one, however, definitely wasn't trying to hide anything!
the "fatballs" seemed a little too much, but this sign convinced us to go for the elephant ears. (we put them in the category of "almost good for you")

this sign meant exactly what it said...
all you had to do was pick up any duck to win... so here we are with our matching prizes! (brett opted out of this one)

which way next??

to the animals!


i was a big fan of the "fuzzy lop."




last but not least, i can't forget to thank the mayor of south bend for coming to the blogiversary! mark your calendars for next year everyone!!!



back online!!

thanks to my wonderful mom and dad who drove in from ohio to be here so the internet people could work their magic installing routers and such while i was at school, i am so happy to say that i am back on the internet!! there is much to share, so i think i am going to just post a series of short blogs with photos from the past few weeks. i'll try to go in chronological order including the 'blogiversary' (attended by the mayor of south bend!), the last weekend in south bend before moving, and the move to pittsburgh... here we go!

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

checking in!

hi everyone!

just a quick note to say hi, and let you know that much more blogging is in store... i am in the process of moving into my new apartment in pittsburgh, and won't have internet for another week or so. in the meantime i'll try to find a place to get online so i can post the pictures and videos i'm so excited to share.

hope you all are having a WONDERFUL day today!!!

love,
nicole

ps. thanks so much to beth p. for telling me that if you follow this link, you can "subscribe" to the blog, and find out when there are new posts. i think that's how it works-- does that sound right beth??

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

lyrics for "abraham's offering"

I posted this song earlier, but was recently asked to post the lyrics too...



“Abraham,” You called to me

I am ready Lord, what do you want of me?
“Take your son, your only one, your joy above all things
You shall journey up the mountain
To the place of which I speak

You shall lay him on the altar
You shall give him back to me.”
And I did not sleep that night
And my agony gave birth to the morning light
For three timeless days my son walked by my side
And Isaac turned to me
As we approached the chosen height


“Father I carried the wood and you carried the flame
But where is the lamb for the sacrifice of praise?”
I said “God will provide what He asks for we must do”
Oh God, I trust in you

This was the child You gave to me
The fruit of all my prayers I offered fervently
My son, my only one, who bore the wood for me
I took it from his shoulders when our
Journey was complete

I began to build the altar then I bound his hands and feet.
Then I looked into his eyes
And saw the confusion and I heard his cries

“Father why are you doing this?
Please say something to me”

But silence was my sole reply
I could no longer speak

Then I laid him on the wood and shook like a flame
With trembling hands I took the knife and
Prayed for strength

Oh I do not understand but my love for You is true
Oh God I trust in you

“Abraham,” the Lord cried out to me
“Do not slay your son
Do not harm him in the least

Now I know that there is nothing you won’t do
Now I know your love for Me is true.
By your grace every nation shall find
Blessing in your name

You have trusted in my promise
So your kingdom shall be great

You’ll have descendants countless as the stars
Sands of the sea

All the world’s been blessed through your
Obedience to me.”


Jesus in His agony
“I am ready Lord, what do you want of me?”
My Son, my only one, my face revealed to see
You shall journey up the mountain
To the cross on Calvary

You shall lay down on the altar
You shall die to set them free

And You did not sleep that night
And Your agony gave birth to the morning light
For three timeless hours You made one last sacrifice
To save us by Your blood and offer us eternal life

Lamb of God upon the wood with the
Spirit’s burning flame

The Father gave his only Son as a
Lamb to be slain

To fulfill every hope that
Your promises are true


Oh God I trust in
Jesus I trust in
Jesus I trust in You

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

a beautiful message from danielle rose

I would just like to let this one speak for itself...
We love you so, so much Danielle!!



the song~


I will meet you at the table
I will meet you in His heart
In the company of angels
In the place where all things start
We receive each other's presence
We are all made one in Him
Though I cannot see your face
I will see you in the Eucharist

Come and meet me at the table
Come and meet me in His heart
We'll be singing with the angels
Each man playing his own part
In the symphony of praises
We will join our song with His
Though I cannot hear your voice
We'll be speaking in the Eucharist

Do not be afraid
Do not be afraid
Do not be afraid

When we gather at the table
We are closer than our breath
Even nearer than the angels
When we touch His very flesh
Dwelling in each other's presence
I will hold you close inside
Every soul in heaven and earth
Now is present in the Body of Christ

Do not be afraid
Do not be afraid
Do not be afraid

We are pilgrims on a journey
We are headed for the throne
Carried on the wings of angels
Oh we do not walk alone
All our prayers we lay before Him
And His grace will pave the way
To lead us to our one true home
Where we'll see each other face to face

And do not be afraid
Do not be afraid
Do not be afraid

I will meet you
I will hear you
I will hold you
I will receive you
I will see you in the Eucharist...


Monday, July 30, 2007

'the anointing at bethany'

"Remember the scene in the house of Lazarus: Martha was serving while Mary had no thought of food but only of how she could please her Beloved. And 'she broke her alabaster box, and poured out upon her Savior's head the precious spikenard, and the house was filled with the odour of ointment.'

The apostles murmured against Magdalen. This still happens, for so do men murmur against us. Even some fervent Catholics who think our ways are exaggerated, and that - with Martha- we ought to wait upon Jesus, instead of pouring out on Him the odorous ointment of our lives. Yet what does it matter if these ointment jars - our lives- be broken, since Our Lord is consoled; and the world in spite of itself is forced to inhale the perfumes they give forth? It has much need of these perfumes to purify the unwholesome air it breathes."

- A letter written by Saint Therese of Lisiuex to her sister Celine in 1894
I fell in love with Danielle's new song "The Anointing at Bethany" the first time I heard her play it in Nashville. It's about the moment in the Gospel when Mary, the sister of Lazarus, anoints Jesus' feet with oil that some criticized her for wasting. How surprised I was last night to find that Saint Therese had written a letter to her sister about the very same passage... not a coincidence!

God bless you Danielle as you prepare to enter the Disciples of the Lord on Thursday. My thoughts, love and prayers are with you now and always!!



You have come to the table of my soul. Thank you oh Lord for the mercy You've shown. What You took You have given back to me. So I pour out the oil of my dreams. As the tears start to fall I am bathing your feet, filling this house with the fragrance of your peace. I bow down to the ground. My hair spills all around. I am kissing your feet. I am wiping them dry because I believe that

You deserve to receive all of my love. Anything less Lord would not be enough. I'll lavish you Lord with all I have received. I'll spend my whole life to anoint You as king.


They say 'Why are you wasting this gift? Just think of the good you'd have done if you sold it serve all the poor souls in this world.' Father forgive for they know not what they say. Worthy are You, lamb of God that was slain, to receive power and riches, wisdom and strength.
I fall down at your throne, longing for You alone. Singing 'Holy holy, God should be given all of the glory.'

You deserve to receive all of my love. Anything less Lord would not be enough. I'll lavish you Lord with all I have received. I'll spend my whole life to anoint You as king.


Now Lord I sit at Your feet. You say the better part's given to me by your love, by your generosity. 'She's done a good thing for me. My time on earth is but a blink of eternity, but the souls of the just shall live forever in peace. They'll remember this story. You will be given a crown of glory. In memory of what you've done the story will go on and on.'


You deserve to receive all of my love. Anything less Lord would not be enough. I'll lavish you Lord with all I have received. I'll spend my whole life to anoint You as king.

"with dirty feet and a full heart"

Today I received a last e-mail from Erin about her summer in Honduras... so beautiful! This e-mail really made me smile because Erin, who I love as a sister, was able to meet two of my most cherished friends, Michael Downs and Beau Schweitzer. I can't decide if I'm happier that she got to meet them, or that they got to meet her!!! God is so good. The circle (as it should) grows...

Los mas queridos a mi corazón,

And so, two months later, it ends… or as I prefer to think, only begins anew. Two months ago, I packed up malaria pills and my Spanish-English dictionary, jars of peanut butter and a heart full of hope yet uncertain of what was to come. As our feet left the ground of Latin America this past Friday morning, my luggage- and perhaps my heart- was lighter. I now carry a plastic bag filled with hand-made goodbye cards, the great possibility that I have the "masamora" and/or "piojos" (look it up if you really want to know), Spanish that (while far from perfect) actually managed to receive a few compliments from locals upon our departure, and a heart llena de amor and full of gracias to the God who blessed me with such an adventure.

And an adventure it has been… an adventure to live deeply, to be rooted and grounded in love. I walk across the campo and breathe deeply the mountain air, letting it settle into my lungs and my soul. I drink deeply from the Cup of Life, knowing that is it He who offers it to me, who offers it to us all. I celebrate joy in the journey, as we never truly arrive, not even in a lifetime. As little planes jolt through cloud-brushed mountains, I smile and am reminded both physically and metaphorically that God's call is not safe… it is radical, it is dangerous, it is exciting… yet it is life-giving, and I am convinced that it is the best possible way to live.

The life of a summer vol at the Farm is often likened to a sprinter
amidst a marathon. For two months each summer, two Notre Dame students come and pour out energy, laughter, and tears. We give what we can… and then we leave. To truly lay roots is difficult when faced with the knowledge that they will be ripped from the ground. Yet our call is to go deep… and so we do, and so we go, hoping and trusting that we have entered into life with the kids the best we could, that we have loved them well.

Our last weeks have been full. In a daring display of vulnerability, Nelly from House 2 asks me to try my hand at giving my first haircut (she pleads with me to shave it all… I decline). 6-year-old Marita from House 1 falls asleep in my lap on the cold, hard floor of the chapel during Holy Hour, her little lice-infested head heavy on my arm, and I recognize that He is as present in the sleeping child curled up against my chest as in the Eucharist before us. I venture out solo for a morning swim, stopping to breathe in the sacredness of the moment, alone with the mountains and the sand and the vast expanse of calm, clear water, diving down to flirt with sand dollars and popping up to greet a fisherman gliding through the dawn. We are graced with the visit of Karla and Ryane, two ND summer vols at an orphanage in San Pedro Sula, and delight in the chance to share stories and adventure. I roll out of bed at 5:40 am and join the vol community for morning prayer in the courtyard consisting of various flailing dance moves to U2's "Beautiful Day" blaring from our iPod speakers. I am reminded that playing "fútbol", while fun, is not my calling as I am utterly dominated by a team of 8-year-olds. I encounter sacramental moments as sister Claire and I belt Folk Choir songs in the back of the Landcruiser, as we grab running sneakers and head to the mountains for adventure runs, as we play capture the flag across the campo and I jump off broad shoulders during a night swim under a sky filled with shooting stars. I am faced with challenge and somehow filled with patience as I tackle a week and a half of teaching Alex, Sigri and Erika, better known as Team ASE, the three loving and fun yet extremely willful students in our special ed program. Topics covered: the solar system, telling time, and how to properly wash our hands. The latter included an actual trip to the pila to practice the hand-washing activity, in which I learned that it is generally best to supervise orphans when you give them permission to cover their hands and face with dirt and markers. Oh, the grace of laughter…

And then, in the blink of an eye, we were finished… showered with piles of hand-made cards, hugs from children and songs of farewell to begin the journey of coming home.
And what a journey it has been. Luckily, our final bus ride went much smoother than the previous one, with the only incident being the recitation of a love poem to Cassidy by a sketchy yet humorous man about *this* close to her face. Sadly, we didn't catch all of the words, but we do know it involved going away into the night and beautiful eyes :)

We spent our final afternoon in La Ceiba, where our journey began, in the presence of some of the most amazing, holy people I have ever met. Celebrating Mass with Laura, Kevin, Beau, Michael, Mark… one of the most beautiful signs of peace I have ever experienced… then celebrating life through the dare of chewing vitamins, savoring the taste of pizza, chocolate chip cookies and a game of Cranium in Spanish (funniest card: "Wonder Bra". Try explaining that in Spanish to a Franciscian nun!) So much holiness. So much life.

As we prepared to leave, soul brother Michael Downs suggested that we were sent out properly- by being prayed over. And so we were, right there in the foyer of that beautiful house where our journey began. Cassidy and I, back to back, surrounded by warm, sticky bodies of people who absolutely radiate, placing strong hands on our shoulders and backs. Earlier that day, as we sat in Mass, Michael leaned over, smiled and whispered, "You forgot to wash your feet!" I looked down and laughed, for my feet were absolutely filthy. Smelly. Ant-bitten. Dark brown with dirt. Calloused. And as we stood in that circle of faith and big feet stood gently atop my little toes, he prayed in thanksgiving for dirty feet. Feet that have weathered ants and mosquitoes, that have run bare on the spiky grass of the campo, that have walked the streets with the poor. Our feet will leave scarred… as they should. They are signs of work, of toughness, of a life loudly lived. Now they must venture out to continue to walk by faith, to "compartir", to openly and lovingly be changed and go forth to love and serve.


The Finca has in many ways "ruined" me… as I hoped it would. I now sit upstairs in my air-conditioned house in a comfortable bed, full of thanks for the opportunity to grow in love this summer and a newfound appreciation for the truly rich lives we lead in the States (most humorous retuning-home anecdote: seeing a cockroach in the bathroom in my house and my initial gut reaction being a literal verbal "awww!" because it reminded me of Finca life)… yet also full of questions about the way of the world (realizing that the aula I taught in for a week and a half is no larger than my parents' walk-in closet) and truly missing the 48 kids who stole my heart this summer.


And so, I want to leave you with my most heart-felt thanks. Gracias… thank you… for reading, for encouraging, for praying, for walking with me on this crazy-beautiful adventure of faith and hope and love. Gracias to my family, both here in the States and my brothers and sisters at the Farm; gracias to all of you, my faithful readers; and most of all, muchimas gracias a Dios who keeps us all together in love.


With dirty feet and a full heart,


Erin


ps: some of my favorite photos of my adventure can be found on my
Flickr page :) enjoy!

Saturday, July 28, 2007

how do they do that???

When I was in Nashville with Danielle I couldn't get over how the musicians could hear her play a song one time and then turn around and make a number chart that basically maps out the whole song in NUMBERS, and then turn around and play it perfectly. It is crazy!!! These people are geniuses...



... and hilarious!!!